urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedingautumn just make me feel beautiful bleedingautumn 2005-06-24T18:41:31Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedingautumn:5700 2005-06-24T18:41:31Z 2005-06-24T18:41:31Z warped tour: friday (dallas) saturday (houston, the one i'm going to) sunday (san antonio)<br /><br />sunday (austin here i come)<br /><br />next weekend (new braunfels)<br /><br />three weeks (altus, oklahoma)<br /><br />destination: beautiful woooooooo hooooooooooooooooooo urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedingautumn:5460 2005-04-25T15:21:12Z 2005-04-25T15:21:12Z my eyes are twitching as I stand in the limelight and they are turning red as if they were infected. I'm not sure what I see at night and as I stare into reflections all I see are blurred visions. sometimes I wonder and sometimes I forget, but aren't you the one who is full of regret? what a facade.<br /><br />oh how I love music ♥ I have finals this week so if anyone wants to hang out after thursday of this week..call me 726-8774. muah urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedingautumn:5367 2005-03-01T07:07:48Z 2005-03-01T07:07:48Z my last serenade by killswitch talks in the bathroom as we both painted <br />your favorite color crimson...red<br />words were exchanged and i believed i would change<br />i came back with answers and they turned into questions<br />as if i had never left this place<br />nothing feels like it used to<br />did i really love these places i once went to?<br />funny how i can fool other people especially myself<br />i'm running on the inside when i'm only standing<br />i'm falling when i'm really stumbling<br />i'm fumbling for words when i'm speaking paragraphs<br />i'm dying when i'm really living the best times of my life<br />i'm laughing when i'm really crying for comfort<br />would you tear me down or tear me apart?<br />the only enemy is myself<br />i bring myself down and beat myself from in to out<br />i'm wishing for you to have your turn so it can end<br />a constant cycle <br />i speak of love but i'm denying it when it comes<br />i speak to hear truth but all i hear are lies<br />i speak of you before you're even in view of me<br />i'm nervous and weak<br />you made me feel like i was alive and we were the perfect plan ever imagined<br />i gave in to old habits and tore us apart before we even existed<br />you were great and you'll never know what you meant to me<br />scratch that you are great urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedingautumn:4984 2005-02-13T20:01:43Z 2005-02-13T20:01:43Z five days n counting by spitalfield i'm finding ways not to lose<br />i said i picked you<br />words are never enough<br />cause all you read are my actions<br />i meant more to you than you did to me<br />i was wrong for inviting<br />you showed me your true side <br />you grabbed and pinched me in a way<br />that made me scared<br />when you swung your fist to hit the car<br />i thought it was going to be me<br />we weren't even together<br />and you claimed four letters<br />lie to yourself if it helps you sleep better at night<br />_________________________________________________<br />last night was crazy and i almost died last night as the car spinned around the highway...so many thoughts rushed into my mind and i fell into shock as we almost fell off the highway...i couldn't breathe it was hard to catch my breath urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedingautumn:4658 2005-02-05T09:12:41Z 2005-02-05T09:12:41Z carousels by mewithoutyou All Shapes and Sizes<br /><br />Being a good person simply means the endless hurting in this world will undoubtedly end with you. It's just a fact of life. Because good people strive for everyone to have better lives(not just themselves), they are always the ones to feel lonely or distant from others in the end. You have a gift to see why things are going wrong in life, even though you don't always seem to understand the reasoning behind it whether it be God, Jesus, an individual, or a group of friends consumed by a belief. We feel that a lot of problems could be solved if we were the judgers, lawmakers, reformers of today instead of bureaucrats wasting time debating. Where's the justice for those that are truly kind-hearted you ask, in refuge with others that share the same feelings. I didn't realize this until I was t-boned by a small white car and the suburban I was driving flipped. Everyone said I should be dead, but I walked away with the only injury being my cut hand from when I put my hands on glass to get out of the seat. Wake up calls come in all shapes and sizes. It could be something said, a personal awakening, or the touch from something that makes us strive to be better, not for ourselves, but for the fact that someone is always watching. Maybe God was watching over me or the pure physics of the wreck made it end the way it did, but I feel it was being the person that I am and not throwing in the towel, that truly saved me. You've always had your wake up call Erika, you just never thought of dialing yourself. So to end with a corny, but somewhat humorous note, in the words of Captain Planet "The choice is yours." urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedingautumn:3694 2004-12-31T08:48:18Z 2004-12-31T08:48:18Z do you love me....<br /><br /><br /><br />cause if you dont i'll just have to kill you urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedingautumn:3515 2004-12-18T09:21:32Z 2004-12-18T09:21:32Z laura talking to winston the ice is breaking and the dawn is upon us now<br />the cold air seeps into the veins of your home<br />the place you call a heart<br />alcohol is surpassing every wound created<br />no matter the amount<br />it wont fill your voids<br />words of treason<br />i love you's<br />stab for taste<br />the taste so bitter <br />it numbs your pain<br />the ice begins to melt and we become parted from the center<br />arms are reaching <br />begging me to come back<br />and all i can do is stumble<br />______________________________________________________________<br />nick : baby<br />nick : you are my heart<br />Yvonne: u hurt me like no one else <br />nick : you are the reason it beats<br />nick : and lives<br />Yvonne: sigh<br />nick : you are the reason that i live<br />nick : you are all that matters to me<br />nick : i love you<br />nick : i want you <br />nick : erika...i just...need you like you will never know<br />nick : more than anything in this world urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedingautumn:3266 2004-11-18T20:04:10Z 2004-11-18T20:04:10Z who can be against me by the supertones what is love? no longer seen for meaning, but a torrid love scene. standards have fallen and no respect is placed as long as our bodies become entwined like leaves dancing against the wind. the tendency to keep me on my toes to derive me of what i do not know. that sadistic mind of yours captivates me of past times not long ago. would a man of valor be enough? <br /><br />to finally part his lips with mine<br /><br />to close my eyes <br /><br />to finally exhale this long awaited breathe <br /><br />propositioned by a love i call my own. can i be sustained?<br /><br />this misanthropic attitude must cease before this constant sickness takes my life away from me. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedingautumn:2940 2004-11-13T02:38:04Z 2004-11-13T02:40:54Z have a bloody day <p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v25/artofdreams/bnw1.jpg"></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><a name="cutid1"></a> <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v25/artofdreams/Picture198.jpg"></p> <p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v25/artofdreams/Picture170.jpg"></p> <p><img style="WIDTH: 221px; HEIGHT: 183px" height="208" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v25/artofdreams/Picture200.jpg" width="225"></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedingautumn:2709 2004-11-02T21:17:03Z 2004-11-02T21:22:10Z buried alive by otep DAMN THESE HEADACHES AND THE STATIC WHICH MY PHONE OWNS...<br /><br /><br /><b> GO VOTE </b> election day aye..i know who i'm voting for and i've got my reasons..i think they both suck...haha<br /><br />so i had a date last night it was good for the most part until the end of the night. NEVER again.<br /><br />i've been contemplating over certain things in my life and i'm wanting out more than ever. away from everyone to be alone and i'm going to do it cause i've been longing for the woodlands my true home.<br /><br />in december i will leave to oklahoma, but i'm not sure how long or how short.<br /><br />life is getting clearer in my vision and i am like chipped nailpolish broken yet complete when you repaint to furnish my beauty<br /><br />sigh..<br /><br />i will never bleed you out completely because you've grown farther than i'd admit you were.<br /><br />i <br />will<br />never<br />be<br />the same<br />forever<br />changed<br />do<br />i <br />met<br />your<br />criteria<br />to<br />hell<br />with<br />it<br />i<br />killed<br />your <br />romance urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedingautumn:2313 2004-10-28T10:44:00Z 2004-10-28T10:44:00Z i hear your voice<br />you cut my strings to save me<br />yet he still bears control<br />i wont live much longer<br />every pain<br />every moment<br />every memory<br />leaves me drained<br />raping me<br />taking parts away<br />i'm breathing toxins<br />to escape <br />i'm lost in darkness<br />there's no light<br />i'm scared<br />you're falling in love<br />and i warned you i'm just a waste of time<br />i captivate you<br />but i'm leading astray<br />you intrigue me<br />enough to reel you in<br />and push you to the curb<br />every time<br />i want you to be someone you can't be<br />i want you to be the one i gave my heart to long ago<br />i want you to be someone you can't be<br />i want you to be the one i gave my heart to long ago<br />i want you to be someone you can't be urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedingautumn:2108 2004-10-25T22:22:38Z 2004-10-25T22:22:38Z pretty girls make graves ever stop to pause and be amazed by a particular moment?<br /><br />last night was one of the best times of my life that i haven't had in awhile plus the amazing new inside jokes haha hey laura how about that shell?<br /><br />i can't even begin to explain last night into words, but i was blown away by matchbook romance as i listened to them as rain fell on my face. fallout boy's getting smashed and dry humped against sweaty bodies oh yeah what i live for hah. to top it off tbs and getting landed on by some big dude that crashed on me hard i heard something crack then i went lightheaded. you'd probably ask if i dropped back from the crowd of course NOT..i was front row :P all in all i was captivated by my favorite songs played and pausing to cherish those moments especially with my best friend. she scared me when she got her piercing cause her lips were shaking but i love her &lt;3<br /><br />i'm falling more into what i want in a guy and one day he will find me...<br /><br /><b>silence means everything</b><br /><br />my heart is always for the taking...so COME TAKE IT...be my guest :P urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedingautumn:1966 2004-10-23T20:24:25Z 2004-10-23T20:24:25Z taking back sunday :P <p>i'm still in shock over the taking back sunday show tomorrow night at stubbs...it's going to be one hell of a weekend then crashing at letty's apartment i can't wait for austin...not sure about tonight in sa yet tho cindy's still at work..</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedingautumn:1533 2004-10-16T21:26:31Z 2004-10-16T21:28:02Z i can't even begin to explain what i feel inside as i type<br /><br />i for once felt like a mother that found her daughters writings and read each word outloud to herself about her daughter dying inside and out...i became torn after each word and the tears kept coming...<br /><br />i don't even know where to begin and she means so much to me that i'd die for her<br /><br />her love is stronger than i'll ever become<br /><br />i'd die without her<br /><br />she's the only one who makes me feel alive in this world..she keeps me breathing..i came from her womb and my father wasn't able to break me before being born like the rest of the unborn fetus's..i express so much but the words of her saying "erika don't blame anyone" about her death filled me with unwanted feelings..her plans of her escape or her death that would soon come to plague me...i don't care for anything right now except her and only if there was a way i could reach out to her...to save her from everything that has happened..to prevent from further sufferring..the sadness of her dying just like my grandma died when she was young..so what if i'm older and i understand i can't take this all in...not alone...not without my pillar that has kept me alive so long and so far..i'd trade it all in just to make her what she makes me feel..<br /><br />i've never known any love greater and if she does go...so do i. <br /><br />i will never be the same. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedingautumn:1057 2004-10-16T02:38:58Z 2004-10-16T02:38:58Z illianas voice i quit my job<br /><br />good news: me & cynthia are going to fright fest & a show in austin this weekend. matchbook romance,fallout boy, and taking back sunday.<br /><br />i can't wait urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedingautumn:897 2004-10-13T12:09:55Z 2004-10-13T12:10:44Z off to school hehe silence! whoa i slept 12 hours and i feel so incredibly awesome/hyper/refreshed/etc...<br /><br />chills are covering my body and well last night i finally burned the pieces cause i knew i had to get rid of it. just cause i never opened the box didn't mean anything so i found it while i was looking for my yoga book hah. so yeah they burned so pretty into the ground i watched as these little pieces turned black and grey...sadly how these little things can break you.<br /><br />so yeah i feel like a little school girl who got her first crush..or something haha<br /><br />i am eternally grateful for all my friends<br />no matter the distance you remain...<br />get up<br />look into that mirror<br />put your hand against your heart<br />right there<br />the place you<br />will forever call<br />HOME...<br /><br />so whether your lost or need guidance that heart will always bring you back to square one, but you have to BELIEVE...don't doubt yourself urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedingautumn:583 2004-10-12T20:50:16Z 2004-10-12T20:50:16Z ohio is for lovers by hawthorne heights <b>i dedicate this to you:</b><br /><br />so cut my wrists and black my eyes <br />so i can fall asleep tonight or die because you kill me.<br />you know you do, you kill me well, you like it too, and <br /><i>i can tell you'll never stop until my final breathe is gone. spare me just three last words,</i> <b>"i love you" is all she heard</b> <i>i'll wait for you, but i can't wait forever. you kill me well.</i> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedingautumn:421 2004-10-11T03:15:35Z 2004-10-11T03:15:35Z matchbook romance tonight will go on forever while we <br />walk around this town like we own the streets <br />and stay awake through summer like we own the heat <br />Singing "everybody wake up(wake up)it's time to get down" <br />(everybody, everybody wake up its time to get down) <br /><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v25/artofdreams/tripod1.jpg">